O-M-G!
________________________________
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Wed, Aug 10 at 2:29 PM
Hi, would like to resume talking, at least via email for now.
________________________________
From the Peanut Gallery: Um… that’s so nice for him. Crazy muther f@*ker!
________________________________
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 4:26 PM
Pathetic Guy, what the hell?? I cannot figure out why you absolutely refuse to accept all of this! I don’t want to be friends with you. And that includes any activities that fall under a friendship, like hanging out, emailing, and talking. You need to get it and stop contacting me. ________________________________
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Wed, Aug 10, 2011 at 4:28 PM
What I don’t understand is how unfriendly you are. There is a reason you’ve never had a relationship last longer than a month.
________________________________
From the Peanut Gallery: Well, if there was any truth to that last statement and this was any indication of the guys I meet, who would blame me really?
________________________________
From: Me
Date: Wed, Aug 10 at 4:28 PM
Stop acting like a stalker. If you contact me again I will consider it harassment.
________________________________
From the Peanut Gallery: Guess who just got blocked from my Gmail account?
And yet… he STILL doesn’t get it.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 2, 2011 3:37:38 PM EDT
I know you don’t want to talk, but thought you may be interestd in this event.
Announcing a new Meetup!
I wanted to do that…Just not alone!!
Let’s spend the day at Governor’s Island
When: Saturday, August 27, 201112:30 PM
Where:Governor’s Island Ferry Terminal10 South
Yeah… I think I’ll be passing on that one. I do love Governor’s Island, but how much do I want to bet that he’ll be there waiting for me? Psycho….
Wow, someone really needs to get in that last word. I guess telling him not to contact me anymore several times was just a suggestion to him?!?
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 1, 2011 11:19 AM EDT
Subject: i’m sorry again
I got your last email, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope one day you will want to talk again, because I think you’d be an awesome friend to have and a great wing gal.
______________________________________
From the Peanut Gallery: Sigh… Yeah, I’m going to be signing up for that real soon.
So, just when I hoped it was over… it wasn’t. Welcome to the life of the emotionally unstable.
Email #1 - response to the last email I sent him before I wrote the kiss off letter.
This was the email I sent the night before, before my “don’t contact” me email:
So how many times should I apologize? 5 times, 50 times, a 100 times?? What’s gonna be the trick here, Pathetic Guy? I already told you I was sorry and I explained why - and I meant every word. What do you want me to say??
This was his response to the email above:
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 8:59 AM
Well first of all stop acting like this-I don’t find it too nice and let’s end the snipping sarcasm. You know what you did was wrong.
________________________________
From the Peanut Gallery: What on earth did I do to this guy?? He acts like I took his virginity and never called the next day.
________________________________
Email # 2, 13 minutes later – This was after reading my “Don’t contact me anymore email”
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:12 AM
My intent was not to hurt you or bring you down. It was to push you away as I can tend to put up a wall around me at times when I get upset and frustrated. It was to express my frustrations which were exacerbated by Sunday’s speedating. Believe it or not, you saying you don’t want me to contact you anymore hurts me more than anything else. I don’t know what to say, but as weird as it sounds, I do want to be friends and yes it was petty of me to bring up the amount of the bill. I’m just frustrated the way dating has been going for me. I do not want you feeling bad or guilty, it’s I’m taking dating very personally and am really hurt by what’s been going on lately. I know it’s my issue, and I’m not handling it the best or well at all.
If you can look past yesterday, can we continue to talk and I will not bring up the date anymore or talk about my dating as it done lots of damage.
You know when I was away, all I wanted was to talk to you. I really don’t want to throw away a friendship. I know I need to earn your respect back. I’ve not acted maturely and I apologize. Maybe part of me wanted you to send this email as f’d up as that sounds.
Please reconsider, I promise I will never bring up the date again. I want you as a friend and I hope one day you will want the same.
________________________________
Email # 3 – 12 minutes after that
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:25 AM
I’m the one who is to apologize. I started it, I am very sorry, I let my frustrations get the better of me, I shouldn’t have emailed you yesterday since I was upset and I should have known, I was in the wrong. You have been nice to me and I was on the attack from the get go. I am sorry, it was not fair to you.
I don’t want you to apologize, you did nothing wrong. It’s me and I will admit that honestly.
I think I needed a so called kick in the a** to wake me up, so to speak.
Again, I want you as a friend because you are a good person and you would be a great friend to have.
Please give me a 2nd chance. I promise, the date will never ever be brought up again. There is no point to bringing it up and it won’t do either of us any good. I’d rathr we talk about positive and fun things.
I hope you can look past my horrible emails yesterday and before and talk to me again. I don’t want lose someone I know would be an amazing friend to me.
Selfishly, I want you as a friend no matter what my emails were like yesterday.
________________________________
From the Peanut Gallery: I like that he wants me as a friend no matter what he did to me. That’s sweet of him.
________________________________
Email #4 – response to first email that he sent me while still being an asshole 30 minutes earlier
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:28 AM
Ignore this email
________________________________
Email #5 - 12 minutes and 3 voicemails later.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:40 AM
I left you a vm on your home and cell. I know you’re at work but I want to apologize so you can hear my apology is sincere. I feel horrible about the things I said. I want to move past that and I really mean that. I want to have you as a friend and that’s the most important thing to me. None of the other nonsense I pulled matters.
________________________________
Email #6 - 2 hours later
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 12:14 PM
I don’t want to keep annoying you, but I am sorry about the way I acted. You did not deserve that.
________________________________
My response… finally… many hours later…
From: Me
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2011 6:02 PM
Hi Pathetic Guy,
I really appreciate your apology. I truly believe that it was sincere and heartfelt and that means a lot to me. I have no doubt that I would be an amazing friend to you, but I have serious doubts about that friendship being returned to me, given your actions the last couple of weeks. I cannot continue a friendship with someone who would have ever thought that those actions and words were appropriate, even despite how misguided you eventually realized they were. I sincerely hope that you take this as a learning experience and are a better friend to the next person. I’m sure you will. I wish you a lot of luck with all of your travels and relationship pursuits.
After working through my anger, this was the response I came up with, like an actual adult.
From: Me
Date: July 26, 2011 12:12 AM EDT
To: Pathetic Guy
Subject: And done.
Pathetic Guy, it’s really a shame that we couldn’t manage to be friends. I’ve apologized for our date more than I should have, in my opinion. That’s what dating is, dinner, conversation, flirting, kissing - we try people on to see if they fit. But we did not fit. And I was disappointed that there wasn’t more between us too, which I expressed to you. This is exactly why I told you my feelings honestly and didn’t go out with you again. And thank goodness, because if you’re having this much trouble getting over one date, I can’t imagine you getter over more than that. However, you have not been able to let that one date go. You have made it your mission to, what I can only assume is, to try to either make me feel bad, guilt me into being with you, or me admitting something that would be a lie. Honestly, I haven’t exactly figured out what your motivation is to constantly bringing it up and making it an issue after we’ve discussed it at length. But it’s not my issue, it’s yours. And you need to figure it out on your own and without me.
And quite unfortunately, it’s cost us any friendship we may have had. Which is unfortunate. After today’s emails, I can’t understand why you would have emailed me to begin with, if it wasn’t to start a fight, or to bring up your hurt feelings. It was also very petty and small of you to bring up what our dinner cost and the fact that we kissed 20+ times, which was a grand exaggeration on your part. And there was no motivation for any of that except that you wanted me to feel bad or guilty. Which I don’t, and never intend to. I have done nothing but conduct myself with decorum and tact, to hopefully preserve whatever kind of friendship we could have had. However, after the amount of emails regarding this subject, I have more than enough cause not to. But I have no interest in bringing myself down to your level. I feel that I was honest and apologetic, but that’s just not enough for you. I’ve said it may times, but I don’t know what you want me to say. And honestly, I don’t care any more. I wish you a lot of luck with your life. Please do not contact me anymore.
You know, I felt really bad about telling you that we had no chemistry because I really liked who you were as a person. And you just couldn’t be a man and let it go! I’ve been trying to be really nice about all of this because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I had to. But now, all of my feelings have been confirmed by your petty, immature, and desperate actions. So you want it, here it is! This is exactly why I had NO chemistry with you:
- You’re clearly petty and desperate - which is why you keep bringing this shit up
- You spit when you talk
- You also have yellow buck teeth - I would spend a little less money on traveling a little more money on that
- You fist your fork like a 4 year old that just learned to hold a utensil
- You kept interrupting me and telling corny jokes which made it difficult to hold a conversation, and they were juvenile and unrelated to what I was talking about
- You kept bringing up old jokes that weren’t even funny any more
- You didn’t eat or drink all night - weird
- You chew on your hand - disgusting
- You kept caressing my cheek while I was eating and having a conversation with you, which was creepy
- You threw our leftovers into the sidewalk rather than looking for a trash can
- You picked a time to kiss me where there was no intimate moment, it was like you were just doing it to do it
AND honestly, I was willing to let all of that go and chalk all of that up to nerves on your part, but this was the kicker…
- And last but not least, you’re a TERRIBLE kisser - you kept mashing you teeth into me and your tongue was like a limp fish in my mouth. It was like kissing someone who had never kissed before. And if you’re a bad kisser, then I can just imagine all the other things your bad at.
- And 20 - 30 times - a HUGE exaggeration. It was about 5 times. And YOU kissed me. And after the first couple of times, I kept pulling away from you, but you were holding onto my face with a death grip. Even when I tried to give you some physical hints about kissing, you were all about what YOU were doing and not paying any attention to me or my body language.
So ya know what, it’s not them it is YOU!
Recently I met a guy through Meetup.com. It’s not a dating site, it’s a social site where you do things with people that you might have in common - like book club, cards, museums, etc. We talked on the phone a bit and then had ONE date. The date was not all I had hoped it to be and I just didn’t feel any chemistry with him. The next day, I came to the conclusion that I could not go out with him anymore. I didn’t want to lead him on because I liked who he was as a person and actually wanted to be friends with him. So a few days before our next date, I told him just that. He seemed to take it well, until a couple days later when I received an email from him. This is the email exchange that we had. And yes, this is the kind of guy I attract… (Names have been changed to protect this pathetic guy’s identity).
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 9:31 AM
Hi, I was actually out sick yesterday & went to dr. Did you wind up going in yesterday? I have to be honest, I’m kinda annoyed with you, doesn’t mean that’ll last forever, but looking back to the date, there’s some things I find bothersome.
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:13 AM
I’m sorry you were sick yesterday. What was wrong with you? I hope you’re feeling better today.
I was out sick yesterday too, my tension headache morphed into a migraine and so I was miserable all night and day. But I’m feeling amazing now.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling annoyed about our date. I’m not really sure what more I can say about it. I thought I was very honest with you the other night in explaining my feelings as well as apologetic for hurting you in anyway. I will completely understand if you need to take some time to move past it so that we can be friends. Feel free to take the time that you need and, if or when you want to have a friendship, I’ll be here to do that.
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:16 AM
I have a very bad cold. I’m glad your headache went away.
What bothers me the most is that we kissed quite a bit and I’m confused as to why you would continually kiss me, if you felt no chemistry from the 1st time we kissed?
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:22 AM
Summer colds suck.
I did explain this the other night to you, that I was really hoping I would eventually feel that chemistry with you. I really did want to have that chemistry with you. Unfortunately, it was just never there.
———————————————————————————————————————
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:23 AM
But still, we kissed quite a lot and at the end you put your arms around me-didn’t you know by that time, there was no chemistry present?
———————————————————————————————————————-
From the peanut gallery: Yeah… I never put my arms around him and we didn’t kiss “a lot,” maybe 5 times. And 4 of those times I was trying to get away from him - because he’s an awful kisser.
———————————————————————————————————————
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:30 AM
Pathetic Guy, I’m not sure what more you want me to say about this. I don’t know any other way to explain it to you than what I’ve already said.
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:31AM
I’m not trying to beat a dead horse, but we kissed a lot, it’s not like we kissed once or twice and that was that. That’s what doesn’t sit well with me.
———————————————————————————————————————
From the peanut gallery: I’m pretty sure he thinks the phrase “beating a dead horse” is literal, otherwise he’d realize he was doing it figuratively.
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:42 AM
Pathetic Guy, I’m sorry if you felt that I led you on. It wasn’t my intension to do that. As I explained, I really like you and I wanted those feelings to be there. And all night I kept thinking, it’ll be there this time. I can’t go back and change any of that now. I feel like I’ve been really honest with you about it. At this point, I’m not really sure what more I can say about it. I don’t know what I can say to make you feel better about it. I wish there was.
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:48 AM
I do feel a bit led bon. I do appreciate your honesty and we can be friends, it’s just not the easiest as I really liked you.
———————————————————————————————————————-
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:58 AM
Well, I do hope that you can move past it. I do understand your disappointment. Like I said, if you need some time, I’m okay with that. I would like to have a friendship with you too. And when you’re comfortable with that, I’ll be here to do that.
———————————————————————————————————————
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 11:00 AM
Of course I’ll move past this, it was only one date and we can be friends. Like I said what bothers me most was all the signs seemed there that made it seem like you were interested, I’d rather the signs had not been there.
———————————————————————————————————————-
From the peanut gallery: Maybe he also thinks “moving past it” is literal.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————
From: Me
Date: July 15, 2011 11:01 AM
Well, I’m glad that you feel like you can move past it.
——————————————————————————————————————
From the peanut gallery: Sense the sarcasm, asshole and just shut the fuck up about it already!