O-M-G!
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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Wed, Aug 10 at 2:29 PM
Hi, would like to resume talking, at least via email for now.
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From the Peanut Gallery: Um… that’s so nice for him. Crazy muther f@*ker!
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From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 4:26 PM
Pathetic Guy, what the hell?? I cannot figure out why you absolutely refuse to accept all of this! I don’t want to be friends with you. And that includes any activities that fall under a friendship, like hanging out, emailing, and talking. You need to get it and stop contacting me. ________________________________
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Wed, Aug 10, 2011 at 4:28 PM
What I don’t understand is how unfriendly you are. There is a reason you’ve never had a relationship last longer than a month.
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From the Peanut Gallery: Well, if there was any truth to that last statement and this was any indication of the guys I meet, who would blame me really?
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From: Me
Date: Wed, Aug 10 at 4:28 PM
Stop acting like a stalker. If you contact me again I will consider it harassment.
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From the Peanut Gallery: Guess who just got blocked from my Gmail account?
They are shooting the Spring Talbot’s Catalogue on my block this morning and they had all these gorgeous classic cars for the shoot. My favorite, of course, was the mint 1960, limited addition, VW Karmann Ghia. It brought back so many amazing memories of my first car, a 1974 British Racing Green, Karmann Ghia. I still miss that car! I really wish I had never sold it.
And yet… he STILL doesn’t get it.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 2, 2011 3:37:38 PM EDT
I know you don’t want to talk, but thought you may be interestd in this event.
Announcing a new Meetup!
I wanted to do that…Just not alone!!
Let’s spend the day at Governor’s Island
When: Saturday, August 27, 201112:30 PM
Where:Governor’s Island Ferry Terminal10 South
Yeah… I think I’ll be passing on that one. I do love Governor’s Island, but how much do I want to bet that he’ll be there waiting for me? Psycho….
I just ran into my new neighbor, Jim Parsons, from The Big Bang Theory walking his adorable dogs, Otis and Rufus (and yes, one of them is a maltese!). Of course I had no idea who he was, because I’m an idiot when it comes to this stuff. After our dogs met and some general small talk, this is how our conversation went:
Me: Do I know you from somewhere?
Him: Nooo, I don’t think so.
Me: You are so familiar to me.
Him: Hmm, have we met before?
Me: No, but I feel like I know you. But not from the neighborhood. Hmm…
And then we awkwardly stared at each other for a while.
Me: Shrugs I don’t know! Dontcha hate it when that happens? Well, anyway, have a great day it was nice meeting you.
Him: You too, I’m sure I’ll see you around.
5 minutes later, I figured it out. I’m sure he does hate it when that happens.
P.S. Oliver was not interested in hanging out with his dogs, but now I realize it’s because he’s not a fan of the show.
Wow, someone really needs to get in that last word. I guess telling him not to contact me anymore several times was just a suggestion to him?!?
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 1, 2011 11:19 AM EDT
Subject: i’m sorry again
I got your last email, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope one day you will want to talk again, because I think you’d be an awesome friend to have and a great wing gal.
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From the Peanut Gallery: Sigh… Yeah, I’m going to be signing up for that real soon.
Cool!
Thanks, @Grizz30rock You’re a doll for taking that picture with us @BarNone!!!
This guy clearly doesn’t understand what I’m telling him. He’s like herpes - just when you think you’ve cleared it up, it’s baaaacckkkk!
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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 26, 2011 6:12 PM EDT
Thanks for responding back to me but it still hurts to know I’m losing the possibility of having a great friend. I know what I did was wrong
but believe I could be an amazing friend to you as well, that could listen to you when you need someone and make you laugh. We had many many many hours of conversations that were fun. Yes, I know I’ve said and acted like a jerk, I’m not perfect and can be immature at times.
I really appreciate your friendship and even though I only know you a short time, I ask you not to give up on a possible friendship so fast. Please let me have the opportunity to show you that I am better than this and can give you the friendship you deserve.
I wouldn’t be emailing you this much and calling if I didn’t think it was important, but I enjoyed those times we spoke and I know we can have those times again.
I know these are words and actions make the difference, but I really wish you could give me the chance. Does not have to be right away, but I want to build your trust in me which takes time. If I could go back and not say what I said, I so would. I will not ever say a negative word about you again or cause you to be on the defensive.
Please think about it. I probably want you as a friend more than you want me but that’s because not many people can make me laugh and are as fun to talk to as you are.
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From the Peanut Gallery: Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that he definitely wants to be friends with me more than I do… considering I keep telling him to stop contacting me. And, does anyone else get the impression that we’re not really talking about a friendship anymore?
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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 26, 2011 6:14 PM
The actions and words I said and did were not appropriate at all. I took out my frustrations in a very bad manner and did not handle those well. You did nothing wrong to me and I feel horrible. The whole day this has affected me and has saddened me.
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From: Me
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2011 7:29 PM
Pathetic Guy, we don’t have enough of a history that I know what kind of a person you are. I honestly don’t think there’s anything that could be said to make me change my mind. I feel as though my impression of you has been greatly changed and there are just somethings that you can’t back bounce from.
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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 27, 2011 9:08 AM
I realize that we don’t have the history to see what kind of person I am, that of course takes time. I know because of what I’ve said, you see me in a different light and there’s no excuse for things I said. However, haven’t you ever given people 2nd chances? I have and sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t, but I’m the type of person that when I something is important to me, there’s a strong desire in me to prove to the other person, I’m worth giving a 2nd chance to.
If we were to become friends, I would want to be there for you, make you feel good when you’re down and make you feel that I care about the friendship and that I value it. I am very aware of what I said was wrong, I don’t blame you for having a different opinion of me, but I will never ever act that way again toward to. I will never bring up anything negative. Instead, I want the friendship to be based on positivity. I am not going to make you feel bad or make you feel sad. Instead, I want to make you happy, laugh, feel good and explore the city together.
Plus, you are a really awesome, I’m very aware of that. What I said was horrible and like I said no excuse but think of all the many hours we talked where we did laugh and wedid listen to each other. I can be a very good listener and I really want to show you that I can be the type of person that would make the friendship special and be a great friend.
I would like to talk to you on the phone to discuss as that’s better than email or text.
A good friendship takes time to build, I’m willing to put the effort in and do whatever it takes to siow you how sorry I am. This would mean so much to me.
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From the Peanut Gallery: Well, he is right about one thing, I am pretty awesome!
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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 27, 2011 9:11 AM
I just want to say I am glad I found you on meetup and it was worth meeting you and I want to thank you for that night, because I did get to
try a new restaurant, you made me laugh, you were fun, pleasant and you I’m appreciative of the fact you said thank you and introduced me to the
wine bar.
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From the Peanut Gallery: Well, I’m glad he’s appreciative of the restaurant now.
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From: Me
Date: July 27, 2011 12:03:54 PM EDT
Hi Pathetic Guy,
I understand that you’re upset and that you’re sorry. I know that. And honestly, this was your second chance. After that email exchange a couple weeks ago, I was ready to throw in the towel. But I knew that you were hurt and I thought I’d give you a second chance to get over it and redeem yourself. And now here we are. Please take this as a learning experience to grow and better yourself. But I need you to you respect my wishes. I can’t be friends with you, Pathetic Guy. I wish you a lot of luck.
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From the Peanut Gallery: I’ve had “real” relationships that ended with less conversation. Good luck to the next girl!
So, just when I hoped it was over… it wasn’t. Welcome to the life of the emotionally unstable.
Email #1 - response to the last email I sent him before I wrote the kiss off letter.
This was the email I sent the night before, before my “don’t contact” me email:
So how many times should I apologize? 5 times, 50 times, a 100 times?? What’s gonna be the trick here, Pathetic Guy? I already told you I was sorry and I explained why - and I meant every word. What do you want me to say??
This was his response to the email above:
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 8:59 AM
Well first of all stop acting like this-I don’t find it too nice and let’s end the snipping sarcasm. You know what you did was wrong.
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From the Peanut Gallery: What on earth did I do to this guy?? He acts like I took his virginity and never called the next day.
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Email # 2, 13 minutes later – This was after reading my “Don’t contact me anymore email”
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:12 AM
My intent was not to hurt you or bring you down. It was to push you away as I can tend to put up a wall around me at times when I get upset and frustrated. It was to express my frustrations which were exacerbated by Sunday’s speedating. Believe it or not, you saying you don’t want me to contact you anymore hurts me more than anything else. I don’t know what to say, but as weird as it sounds, I do want to be friends and yes it was petty of me to bring up the amount of the bill. I’m just frustrated the way dating has been going for me. I do not want you feeling bad or guilty, it’s I’m taking dating very personally and am really hurt by what’s been going on lately. I know it’s my issue, and I’m not handling it the best or well at all.
If you can look past yesterday, can we continue to talk and I will not bring up the date anymore or talk about my dating as it done lots of damage.
You know when I was away, all I wanted was to talk to you. I really don’t want to throw away a friendship. I know I need to earn your respect back. I’ve not acted maturely and I apologize. Maybe part of me wanted you to send this email as f’d up as that sounds.
Please reconsider, I promise I will never bring up the date again. I want you as a friend and I hope one day you will want the same.
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Email # 3 – 12 minutes after that
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:25 AM
I’m the one who is to apologize. I started it, I am very sorry, I let my frustrations get the better of me, I shouldn’t have emailed you yesterday since I was upset and I should have known, I was in the wrong. You have been nice to me and I was on the attack from the get go. I am sorry, it was not fair to you.
I don’t want you to apologize, you did nothing wrong. It’s me and I will admit that honestly.
I think I needed a so called kick in the a** to wake me up, so to speak.
Again, I want you as a friend because you are a good person and you would be a great friend to have.
Please give me a 2nd chance. I promise, the date will never ever be brought up again. There is no point to bringing it up and it won’t do either of us any good. I’d rathr we talk about positive and fun things.
I hope you can look past my horrible emails yesterday and before and talk to me again. I don’t want lose someone I know would be an amazing friend to me.
Selfishly, I want you as a friend no matter what my emails were like yesterday.
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From the Peanut Gallery: I like that he wants me as a friend no matter what he did to me. That’s sweet of him.
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Email #4 – response to first email that he sent me while still being an asshole 30 minutes earlier
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:28 AM
Ignore this email
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Email #5 - 12 minutes and 3 voicemails later.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:40 AM
I left you a vm on your home and cell. I know you’re at work but I want to apologize so you can hear my apology is sincere. I feel horrible about the things I said. I want to move past that and I really mean that. I want to have you as a friend and that’s the most important thing to me. None of the other nonsense I pulled matters.
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Email #6 - 2 hours later
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 12:14 PM
I don’t want to keep annoying you, but I am sorry about the way I acted. You did not deserve that.
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My response… finally… many hours later…
From: Me
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2011 6:02 PM
Hi Pathetic Guy,
I really appreciate your apology. I truly believe that it was sincere and heartfelt and that means a lot to me. I have no doubt that I would be an amazing friend to you, but I have serious doubts about that friendship being returned to me, given your actions the last couple of weeks. I cannot continue a friendship with someone who would have ever thought that those actions and words were appropriate, even despite how misguided you eventually realized they were. I sincerely hope that you take this as a learning experience and are a better friend to the next person. I’m sure you will. I wish you a lot of luck with all of your travels and relationship pursuits.
After working through my anger, this was the response I came up with, like an actual adult.
From: Me
Date: July 26, 2011 12:12 AM EDT
To: Pathetic Guy
Subject: And done.
Pathetic Guy, it’s really a shame that we couldn’t manage to be friends. I’ve apologized for our date more than I should have, in my opinion. That’s what dating is, dinner, conversation, flirting, kissing - we try people on to see if they fit. But we did not fit. And I was disappointed that there wasn’t more between us too, which I expressed to you. This is exactly why I told you my feelings honestly and didn’t go out with you again. And thank goodness, because if you’re having this much trouble getting over one date, I can’t imagine you getter over more than that. However, you have not been able to let that one date go. You have made it your mission to, what I can only assume is, to try to either make me feel bad, guilt me into being with you, or me admitting something that would be a lie. Honestly, I haven’t exactly figured out what your motivation is to constantly bringing it up and making it an issue after we’ve discussed it at length. But it’s not my issue, it’s yours. And you need to figure it out on your own and without me.
And quite unfortunately, it’s cost us any friendship we may have had. Which is unfortunate. After today’s emails, I can’t understand why you would have emailed me to begin with, if it wasn’t to start a fight, or to bring up your hurt feelings. It was also very petty and small of you to bring up what our dinner cost and the fact that we kissed 20+ times, which was a grand exaggeration on your part. And there was no motivation for any of that except that you wanted me to feel bad or guilty. Which I don’t, and never intend to. I have done nothing but conduct myself with decorum and tact, to hopefully preserve whatever kind of friendship we could have had. However, after the amount of emails regarding this subject, I have more than enough cause not to. But I have no interest in bringing myself down to your level. I feel that I was honest and apologetic, but that’s just not enough for you. I’ve said it may times, but I don’t know what you want me to say. And honestly, I don’t care any more. I wish you a lot of luck with your life. Please do not contact me anymore.